5 Things to do When Your Crush Does Not Like You

You cry your heart out and eat a tub of ice cream.

Nah, just kidding. We don't want to add our pain with an onslaught of guilt that comes from the assault of unwanted calories. No girl, you deserve better than that.

But who am I to tell you what to do? Go on, girl. Indulge yourself. Nothing heals a broken heart than a luscious tub of ice cream.

Ahhh, a broken heart. We all have been there. Although our emotional turmoils come in a plethora of shapes and sizes, one cannot simply say he/she cannot understand the feeling of not being liked back by the person he/she adores the most. It seems to me that part of our learning process here on earth involves the painful ordeal of recognizing that we can't always get what we want...and who we want. 

Believe me, I had my fair share of heartbreaks and heartaches that I shamelessly covered with milkshakes and sour-graping. I, too, do understand the frustrations and questions that come with discovering that the one you're head-over-heels with does not really find you interesting enough, and you'll discover these things either through a blatant confrontation or a conclusion (after you see him giving another girl the doe eyes.)

I know, you may question yourself once in a while. My favorite line then was "There must be something wrong with me for them to not like me back." With that line often begins a series of self-evaluation that ultimately results to lower self esteem. Sounds familiar? 

When I was still single, I would repeatedly get rejections from the guys that I like. I will not be ashamed to say I shed a couple of tears for those guys (shhh, don't judge me), However, I found a way for me to be able to smile about it the next day. I remember telling my mother one time "Every time I get a heartbreak , I get so excited!" She then gave me a curios stare that asked "Why?"

Why? Well, I have learned that to easily feel better after being dumped comes in 5 steps. Let me share to you what I do.

1.) Remember your worth!

You are not your crush's opinion. Do not think that just because the guy you are crushing with does not find you interesting, you'll already make up your mind that you're bland and boring. Sometimes, you'll go and check the other girl's social media account and then proceed with self-loathing. Remember the saying that "Every flower is beautiful"? Well, it's no cliche. You have something to offer. You are interesting! You have talents and quirks that make men wonder. Maybe that heartthrob you fell for just isn't into your type but that doesn't mean you are no one's type. Don't ever lose your confidence because you're more than your crush's opinion. You are a special person based on your DNA alone. You are a wonderful creature and don't you ever forget that. Face the mirror and flip that hair, lady. Your day will come!

and while waiting for it...

2.) Do something that will make you MORE interesting.

During my single days, whenever I get heartbreaks, I would divert my attention into something else. There was one time I tried tshirt printing. The other one, I enrolled in the gym for six months and I loved it. There was a time when Jared was still courting me, that he did not text me for two days. He was such a busy bee that he never bothered to text. So, being the typical girl that I am, my brain made the impulsive conclusion that he does not like me anymore. Instead of moping around, I bought miself a set of acrylic paint and painted all day long. When he texted me again (he got some good lecture), I showed him my outputs. His reaction? "You made me fall for you more!" Oh ha? 

I'd like to call this trick the "Increase Your Fair Market Value" technique. Let a guy's rejection be your motivation to increase your "likeability" factor. The more you try to develop some positive attributes, the bigger the percentage of those who will be attracted to you. Who knows, you'd attract better men this time? :) Take every heartbreak as a chance to improve yourself. Pain is a good motivator. I would know because I lost 18 pounds because my crush didn't like me back. Haha.

3.) List down the reasons for your pain. And make peace with yourself. Try asking help from others.

Those closest to me would remember these lines from me: "I do not cry because I love him that much. I cry because my pride's hurt!"

I know the wave of different emotions that come with disappointed love. You're angry, you deny that you're angry, then you're hurt, then you deny once again that your heart is aching, and the cycle continues.

List down the reasons why you're hurt, then make peace with them. I owe my parents a lot for all their help as I get over crushes. I would talk to them, pour my whole heart to them, and they would listen oh so intently. Just being able to spill some of my hurt helped a lot.

If you're not that comfortable sharing your personal dramas with your parents, find a trusted friend whom you can share some of those bitterness. :). Being able to make peace with the load helps you accept the present and move on towards an exciting future.

4.) Write down the qualities of the guy you want to be with and work on those qualities.

Sure, the guy that you've been stalking on Facebook likes someone else now but the world ain't ending there; this actually gives you more reasons to be excited about! I learned this lesson from my own heartbreaking experience when the guy I liked told me he was still in love with his past. Ouch, Not letting that blur my vision of a great love story in the near future, I wiped my tears and listed down some of the qualities I want my future husband to have. I must have listed all the dreamy traits I could ever think of during that time. Doing that made me so excited to meet this man of my dreams and helped me get over a busted/faux love story.

I did not know it then but when we got married, Jared introduced to me "The Law of Attraction" where I would have to list down all the things that I want and if I really believe I would get it, I'd get it. Hhmm, seems like the Law of Attraction worked for me when I got him. So, girl, list them attributes down and work on those qualities that you want your future Prince Charming to have and say buh bye to the heartache!

5.) Lastly, turn to the Person who loves you the most!

Some of my heartbreak nights included me and my bestfriend, Mr. Headphones. Ahhh, the luxury of drowning yourself with melancholic love songs and just letting all them bitter tears go . I know, it's easy to cry yourself to sleep; praying seems to be a struggle, you just don't have time for that, right?

But no, praying, as cliche as it may sound, is the best remedy of all; you get to talk to the Father who love you the most and who wants what's best for you. There was one time when I was praying that a thought came to me: "I'm talking to Heavenly Father who only wants to give me the best man there is out there. Why would I cry over someone who just takes me for granted?" You can say that Father and I had this teamwork when it came to finding the guy who will take special notice of me. I trusted Him to lead me to the guy who will love me A LOT and alas, Jared came. (hi, honeypie. Wuvyu!)

Trust Heavenly Father. This Father of ours who knows the beginning and end, sees everything in between in your life. Trust Him to lead you to that special guy. The more you put your confidence to the Lord when it comes to your love life, the more you will at peace. Trust me, I know. :)



I keep telling my husband that now that I am married, I always love to see the "courtship game" between two young adults. At times, I miss the mystery, the thrill, the suspense that comes with having a crush. I have started to figure out that perhaps the reason why I had such a lame dating record is for me to be able to empathize more. I know being ignored and rejected hurts like heck, but hey! That very heartbreak could bring you closer to the one meant for you.

I am grateful for all those guys who turned me down, implicitly and explicitly. Without their disinterest towards me, I wouldn't have been led to this amazing guy named Jared.

Who, by the way, can also ignore me sometimes especially when there's Stephen Curry.

But he would still be my eternal crush, who, fortunately and finally, likes me back. :)